Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Christmas Holiday

Christmas Holiday

Yes, this is my fifth Christmas holiday without my family. So sad!!! Christmas to me is a celebration, which includes spending time with my family, decorating the entire house inside and out, and shopping for the people I love. Doing this with the people I love is what means the most to me.

Spending Christmas with my family is very important to me. We usually gather and celebrate at our house, in Dili-East Timor. A week before the Christmas celebration, we spend the day baking cookies, making cakes and preparing a big Christmas dinner, with all the trimmings. Doing those activities for Christmas are so much fun. I remember when I was little I loved to see my cousins and friends the same age as me. We played game, ate cakes, and watched fireworks.

But, since I stay away from my parents going study abroad in another country, I started to feel a different Christmas culture. I feel totally different. No Christmas songs around the place I live and the weird thing is people always get busy with other things despite of busying preparing for Christmas. Another funny thing yet surprising is when it comes to Christmas, it seems like Valentine’s Day. Whenever I go out on Christmas day for dinner with my boyfriend, it is hard for me to see Korean people spending time with their family. What I see are couples everywhere. And me and my boyfriend look each other and say “Are they serious???” I mean I don’t want to judge them or such, but you know, Christmas supposed to be with family. It is important. OMG!!! It is just strange. I just hate to see it, because they got me so jelly, how bad I want to spend my Christmas with my family, but I just can’t because I we are not together now, but they have their family around. Super crazy I think when I see this.

Anyway, Christmas here was not that fun, but I tried hard to make my Christmas become a special day. On 24th night I, my boyfriend, and one of my friends went to church. After that we then went for dinner nearby. We planned to spend the whole night playing around,  eating cakes, singing in karaoke, and other things, but it didn't work out because the weather wasn't kind. It was so cold and I just don’t know how to describe. But, I actually enjoyed the Christmas with those two beautiful people though.

I rarely go into department stores, but during the Christmas season, I love doing shop because the stores are so beautifully decorated and very festive. I can easily get carried away, with spending so much money. I must admit the thought of spending too much money hardly comes to mind.


Although I am not with my family during the Christmas holiday or another special holiday such as thanks giving day, but I feel so fortunate to have my boyfriend and my friends throughout the year, especially at Christmas time. When showing, my friends just how much I love them and what exactly they mean to me. That is so very important to me. Christmas, for me is about being with family, loving each other and showing each other just exactly how we all feel.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Satirical Essay on Starving Children In Africa

"Far More Likely to Provide The Hunger Poison than Food"
By: Natalina (Sogang University)
There are so many starving children in Africa spreading like wildfire in the forest. Thousands of children die from starvation every single day under the eyes of international community. Many organizations such as United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR), Red Cross, Non-Government Organizations (NGO’s), United Nations World Food Programme (WFP), United Nations Organization (UNO), and many more are failed to provide substantial amount of nutrition to save the hunger. All they did was showing how delicate is the situation by broadcasting awful images of starving children crying and dying. There’s no one who could help to stop the children from dying in a terrible and pitiful way. Even those organizations did more harm than good. They humiliate as well as exploit African by showing to the whole world that they are dying from starvation. 


There are thousands of photos and videos on the Internet and news which show the pitiful starvation of children in Africa. Those are the results of hard work of the media and press that went to Africa for filming and broadcasting their suffering. By showing those terrific images on the TV, Newspaper, Magazines, and the Internet, the image of Africa is spoiled all over the world. Of course, the main reason they share things happen in Africa is to get the world’s attention for responding these food and humanitarian crisis and find potential donators who can help to end world hunger. However, viewers outside there just take pleasure to watch those miserable children dying as if they are watching FIFA world cup or such. Rather, their ultimate purpose of broadcasting news of starving children issue by showing a bunch of underweight children will just make people feel bad for only a few minutes, but then they will forget. So, conversely this is just to spoil the image of Africa, not to get people for helping Africa. Hence, they better stop filming the awful situation of starving children in Africa because people in today’s world are more shocked by the gay marriage issues or relationship between celebrities, or other interesting gossips instead of the images of pitiful starving children. 


More interestingly, if we try more to find out why International Journalists want to report the shameful situation of Africa, there is a basic reason which is revenge. Some countries in Europe that had colonized African more than 60 years to get the natural resource that Africa has, but they failed. So, they use International Journalists to tell the word that Africans actually has no ability to live their lives. They want the world know the truth that Africans still depend on them. Seriously, aside of spoiled African image, this situation has brought many bad influences on Africas economy too. Why? Since people are bombarded by the media, they are more likely to believe on what they see on TV and the Internet. They are making another problem that is worst for the economy of the old continent. 

Therefore, I suggest that rather leave starving children die because it is way less painful than trying to help them to survive. If it takes long for them to feel their pain, then those organizations that help childrens around the word, such as UNICEF, UNHRC, Red Cross, NGOs, WFP, UNO, far more likely to give the victims of hunger food poisoning to end their pain as quickly as possible. Just stop providing the medical supplied and necessary food, because if you let them die from starvation is way more inhuman. Also, since its too paining and pitying to watch them suffer, there is no other reason to live than die. You know, people were born to die anyway. So, it is insignificant that each year millions of dollars are spending to buy foods and drugs to save the children in Africa from malnutrition and starvation, because none of them reach the actual population in need for. If you do so, then it is just like you spend money for nothing. Keep in mind that life is meaningless if we cannot afford to live anymore.


Irony of Life

Besides, there is also another way to stop saving children from starvation. Slave trade can be a good idea. By using the donation money, some starving children could be sent to another country to be slave. Because people who live in big development country, in today’s world, they spend too much on their pets. Do you know how much they spend to raise and save their pets? I can say they spend too much. Comparing the pets that do nothing for their owner with the human being, I think it is better for you to spend money on starving children of Africa. I bet they will do more for you than pet that you have does. You can ask them to do what you want them to do. So, save their live, raise them instead of pets and give them little good place to stay. It is OK to make them as your slave. 

Stop complaining, step back and take a look at how much you have
Take the time to realize that you have so much to be grateful for


On the other side, if we see clearly, the fact that happened in Africa is the aid sometimes does not get to its intended recipients. The main reason is because of corruption on the receiving end. Some of the countries are run by people who take the aid and sell it elsewhere for their personal need rather than donate for hapless families. And, another reason is because of the charitys overhead. Some charities spend more on the overhead (salaries and such) than on actual aid. These are the charities that get into legal trouble. Therefore, stop acting like an angle that is sent by heaven to help those children. It will be better acting like an evil that provides poison instead of food so that the children will die peacefully. 

In short, those International Medias and Organizations sponsored by the international community still cannot reach their main goal. Not enough is being done for this situation. What they are doing still is more harm than good in their intervention on the starvation situation in Africa. However, dont surprise me that you are agreed with me. Do not get me wrong too. I am here not to say that people who give contributions to starving children in Africa were totally negative. I just sometimes dont want starving African children to survive. I questioned to myself that do people really care about them? If they do so, then why there are still so many people starving to death? Of course, they support hard, but still the more they support there is no end to this problem. Since I consider the fact that they might not be aware of the real harm they are causing and just believe that they are doing incredible charities. Likewise, poisoning the children might not be the best solution too. Although they are still unable to end the hunger.


Hope of Africa

Monday, December 10, 2012

How to Decorate Your Personal Diary

There are some people who love writing diary where they pretty much record their daily events or dreams or anything about their emotions that they can talk honestly. I am one of those. I love writing things that happen to me every single day. It is fun and I enjoy it. I started writing story of life that I have been through on my diary since I was in 6th grade of elementary school. The main reason of doing this is because I feel so released after recording my feelings (positive or negative). Especially now when I am in Korea where I got so much stress because of the lifestyle here. Yet, here in Korea, everyone is busy with their own lives, so diary is the only best friend I have. Through writing diary, I found myself feel better and I can regulate my emotions after writing down everything I felt a day. Btw, I must tell you that, Korean's diaries and planners are so pretty and cute, as well as the stickers. I found it fun to play around with them. These are some examples of how I decorate my diary. I hope you guys enjoy seeing it.


Most Korean diaries have a month view and a week view. The monthly section illustrates the main point I want to remember about that day, and the weekly part goes into more depth.














For another post of How to decorate your personal diary, click this link: How to decorate your diary (Part 2)


Monday, December 3, 2012

Response to "Christmas in August" movie

Reflection on the Life and Death
CHRISTMAS IN AUGUST

By: Natalina (Sogang University)
Everyone will die eventually someday. Every single one of us lives with knowledge of death. However, although we know that everyone dies eventually, still, we all try really hard to live. Why do we do this? It is a simple question, and there are many different answers from every single of us. In fact, we tried work hard to live for many reasons, even almost all of us hope to live to be 100 years old before die and see the world at a different aspect hopefully for the best, while some people hate the difficult life and they try to commit suicide. All of us have the fear of the death. Yes, everyone does, we have to face it one day. The more we try hard to live our lives, the more we face the fear of death, because we enjoying all the bad and good things, the pain and happiness of live, and we don’t want to leave, specially the people who we meet in our lives. That is why for us as a human being, we try to create memories as much as we could before the death comes and knocks our door. Besides, death also gives us our absolute reasons for leaving. Why? Because it provides us with the structure of how we appreciate and how we guide our lives.

Korean movie: Christmas in August
It is simply talking about a guy who prepares for his death 
due to an incurable disease

There are so many ways people can choose to learn about the death and dying issues itself, although we know about it since we were born. For example: learning it from the experience, hearing from the people around, joining special activity which is related to study about death and dying, watching movies and dramas, searching from the Internet, studying at school, and so on. 

Last week I watched one of the Korean movies entitled ‘Christmas in August’. This movie was introduced by my Religion and Death professor. I am one of Korean movies and dramas fever, and I was waiting for so long for some movies to be watched, and I am so thankful that I found this thoughtful movie. I found more knowledge about how important to live this life. The movie taught me about life and death, and how people can deal with lives in front of death. This movie is simply about a man who prepares for his death due to an incurable disease, and at the same time, cherishing his love in his heart. It was amazingly hear shaking, and showed very sad but warm view toward life in Korea. Although it was only about 97 minutes long, but managed to say just everything about life and death. As we all know, there are thousands ways people die each day. People might die because of the accident, or because they got killed, or they committed suicide, or because of disease that failed be cured by the medical people, and so on. Even though the movie I mentioned takes only for short time, I learnt how the main character Jong-Won faces the death of illness. How he deals with the disease that kills him slowly. Yes, I found that disease that will kill the body, but disease has no power to kill someone’s spirit. 

Life is a strange, yet it is a difficult journey. We're going to have some good and some tough times throughout life, but you cannot have one without the other. You have to observe one thing that you know, that you will die one fine day. Even though you know this open secret, you would not commit suicide. Similarly all other are behaving. Instead of committing suicide they want to live and they want to prove themselves. For instance, someone may want to live with great values, someone may want to create history, and someone may want to waste their time until their end.

Feeling grief and loss
A best friend of mine who lost her dad when she was little
Sometimes she felt so lonely without her dad

Each day, our lives should become very meaningful after we have acceptable the fact that we are not live in this beautiful world forever. Furthermore, we have to live file to its fullest, as if it were our last.

From the movie, while I watched it, I felt like it gave me the point that our body could well be described as our own worst enemies, capable of circumventing the greatest aspirations through earthly physical brittleness, cutting short great lives prematurely. Death gives us our absolute reason for living. It provides us with the structure if how we appreciate and how we guide our lives. It should help us prioritize our activities and the goal that we intend to death was relatively easy and simple. 

I have learned from my Religion and Death class about the grief matters. As we all know that emotional is very important in case of death and dying issue. We all might experience the grief, so do I. As we know, grief is not only felt by people who are going to die, but also felt by survivors. Sometimes grief is not constant, it is not stable. If you ever rode the roller coaster or scary movie, you will know that feeling of grief is pretty the same. Feeling shock, fear, and intense of sad. 

As what I acquired from the movie ‘Christmas in August’, Jong-Won knew that he was going to die soon. He was the one who prepared his death calmly and quietly from summer to winter. He recollected his memory at playground. He looked old photos in a box which held his precious memories. He kept the photo of his first love, Jung-Soon and the photo and the letter of Darim in the box as well. He didn't blame anyone about his death. He was thoughtful enough to consider about people he was going to left. He wrote the manual in details for his dad how to develop the photos. He didn't tell either Jung-Soon or Darim that he was going to die soon. He tried not to worry his sister. He also tried his best to take best photo for an old woman since he sympathized with her. This is the best example of how a person who meets his or her final stage of life leave gift for survivors, which means, the person reduces survivor’s feeling of grief when he or she dies. 

However, on the other hand, he was afraid. It was not easy for him to accept it. He was too drunk so that he was not able to remember what happened at the police station at that night before. He also sobbed in his blanket. To him, Darim was "Christmas." This is so sweet. He thinks so, because Darim made him smile until the last moment. Without her, he might not able to smile when he took his photo for the funeral. 

I am not afraid of death, but if I imagine that I was in Jong-Won place, that I only had a few days, months or year to leave my life, I guess I would not fear about it, but I might be angry, or sad, or any of a thousand different emotions that I couldn't possibly describe. I don’t know if there is something after death. But, I would like to feel there is. Although there is not, I believe that is not something I would fear, because death is natural and as long as we meant something to someone, that they held us dear in their hearts for a time, and then I believe we live forever. To be honest, what I am afraid of the way how I will die. Also, what I am afraid the most is leaving people behind, or maybe leaving things unfinished. That to me is the scariest possibility of all. Overall, this movie motivates me so much to reflect my own life, look back on my life and see if I have wasted it, and think about what I am going to do if I knew I only have several years to live.

Response to "The Death of Ivan Ilyich"

Reflection on the Life and Death
“THE DEATH OF IVAN ILYICH”

By: Natalina (Sogang University)
You might have known and felt that when we are having fun, time passes so quickly and swiftly away. In contrast, when we do nothing, time hardly passes by, for instance a second seems longer than a minute, a minute longer than an hour; because we have nothing to do. However, if we are having fun or we are busy doing things, 12 hours seem just 12 minutes, when we enjoying doing our activities, when we are engaged in something we enjoy doing. When we talk with a wider point of view, we would say life is too short to live to the full, if we are enjoying our life. And, still have millions of things we want to do, but know we cannot, because life is just too short. However, for someone who is not at all enjoying life or whatever he or she is doing, one is too afraid to live life to the full, life is too long. For such people, life could have been more fun had it been shorter. More interestingly, it seems they do not know that life is until you live. When you do not live, then you live like a breathing corpse. It is then not living a life because for wise men living is something totally different to staying alive. 

After reading a really great novel entitled The Death of Ivan Ilyich wrote by Leo Tolstoy, believe it or not, I got nightmare when I went to bed. I think I did because I read too much book about death and die, also watching documentary movie and others movies that told story about the life and death. This is so scared. It scared me so much, because I have a lot of experience of seeing people dying in my childhood life. However, besides this, I realized that I have I know less about the death and life, the fact that I was surprise, when I found something new little by little while I read the books and watching movies. 

To consider the story of Ivan Ilyich life and death cycle, as describe in the novel The Death of Ivan Ilyich, Ivan Ilyich, let me share the key point that I think is important to know before move to the next. 

During his lifetime, Ivan Ilyich head learn the syllogism from Kiesewetters Logic: Caius is a man, men are mortal, therefore Caius is mortal, had always seemed to him correct as applied to Caius, but certainly not as applied to himself. That Caius man in the abstract was mortal, was perfectly correct, but he was not Caius, not an abstract man, but a creature quite, quite separate from all others. He had been little Vanya, with a mamma and a papa, with Mitya and Volodya, with the toys, a coachman and a nurse, afterwards with Katenka and with the all the joys, grief, and delights of childhood, boyhood, and youth. What did Caius know of the smell of that striped leather ball Vanya had been so fond of? Had Caius kissed his mothers hand like that, and did the silk of her dress rustle so for Caius? Had he rioted like that at school when the pastry was bad? Had Caius been in love like that? Could Caius preside at a session as he did? Caius really was mortal, and it was right for him to die;but for me, little Vanya, Ivan Ilyich, with all my thoughts and emotions, its altogether a different matter. It cannot be that I ought to die. That would be too terrible. (The Death of Ivan Ilyich, page 91, IBook)

DEATH. Thats the point of the story described so brilliantly by Count Leo Nikolayevich Tolstoy, better known as Leo Tolstoy, an aristocrat, the great Russian writer, a moral philosopher and a leading social thinkers of his time. In his novel, he told the story that Ivan Ilyich cannot accept the fact that as a man he could die. During his life he considered himself special and want to be treated special, such what applies to everyone are not apply to him. But the law of death is the most unjust laws that never saw who you are, what position, wealth, beauty, or all sorts of things that are important to every person alive. Ivan Ilyich cannot accept death as we all do, which is people are kind of selfish, never satisfied with the limitation they have, and try to deceive themselves by letting their ego get the best of them, thinking that they are immortal. But, as Caius can die all of us and also Ivan Ilyich can die as well. 

It seems like, Ivan Ilyich and also the author of the novel, Leo Tolstoy, they both represent the picture of all of us. I want to say that, this novel is not easy to understand if you read it without having interest. I have read this book for two times, because at first I just wanted to finish it as soon as possible since I have other things to do, but then I found out in the end that I understand nothing. I then did reread it again, because I got desire to understand what does this novel talk about. Even though, I dont understand that whole much, but I got really important thing that the author delivered about. 

Ivan Ilyich seems as a reflection of us. Humans who fond of pleasure, but declined all about suffering. Humans are fond of pleasure but declined suffering. Man who would love life but hate the death. Due to this very simple reason, suffering destroys all the pleasures and the death ends the life. We even feel so selfish, till we do not want to think about death. Imagine if there is someone who wants to think about it, death is usually considered as something that is still far away from us, or it is just valid for Caius. Far from the bottom of our hearts, we think that death is a form of aberration that should never exist. 

However, Caius could die because he is a human being. Human being can die. Then why we cannot die as Caius? And, is there anyone who could guarantee us that we could be alive tomorrow? Does anyone know in advance what is going to happen tomorrow? If we are all going to die one day, then why and for what we work really hard for surviving? If we are all going to die one day then what does this life for anyway? Why we live this life? Is life everything, and the death is the end of everything? Well, there are too many questions that haunt people. The reasons and answer are depending on individual, because everybody owns their lives. We all know that nobody chooses to be born, but we all have the option to take our own life. 

He wept on account of his helplessness, his terrible loneliness, the cruelty of man, the cruelty of God, and the absence of God. Why hast Thou done all this? Why hast Thou brought me here? Why, why dost Thou torment me so terribly? He did not expect an answer and yet wept because there was no answer and could be none. The pain again grew more acute, but he did not stir and did not call. He said to himself: Go on! Strike me! But what is it for? What have I done to Thee? What is it for? Then he grew quiet and not only ceased weeping but even held his breath and became all attention. It was as though he were listening not to an audible voice but to the voice of his soul, to the current of thoughts arising within him. What is it you want? was the first clear conception capable of expression in words that he heard. What do you want? What do you want? he repeated to himself. What do I want? To live and not to suffer, he answered. And again he listened with such concentrated attention that even his pain did not distract him. To live? How? asked his inner voice. (The Death of Ivan Ilyich, page 126-127, IBook)

Ivan Ilyich tried to blame God for all his suffering. But God did not argue. What God did is forced Ivan Ilyich to listen to his own conscience, his heart. Ivan Ilyich began to look back on his life he felt far better and fun. The more he thought, the more he realized that good life was just an illusion. The only moment he felt the most fun was when he was a little boy. However, he did not remember it so clearly because it had left him so many years ago. 

I think that Tolstoy doest impose on us his thoughts. He doest force us to follow what he believes. But, he seems to force us to think. He forces us to look back on our lives and thinking what we have done in this life, thinking if we have wasted it, and thinking about what makes us strongly think that we are not only human being can die. He seems forcing us to think what we do are really important and valuable, so it deserves to be a reason to continue living. 

He sought his former accustomed fear of death and did not find it. Where is it? What death? There was no fear because there was no death. In place of death there was light. So thats what it is! he suddenly exclaimed aloud. What joy. …… It is finished! said someone near him. He heard these words and repeated them in his soul. Death is finished, he said to himself. It is no more! He drew in a breath, stopped in the midst of a sight, stretched out, and died. (The Death of Ivan Ilyich, page 147-148, IBook) 

This is how Ivan Ilyich died. Thus, we will die eventually. Is death so we fear it? Is this life? So, are we really afraid of death? What is the meaning of life for us then? Ivan Ilyich had found the answer, but he already died. We all will probably also find it later when we die. Tolstoy did not give us the answer to those questions. But, through his book, he has given us some idea of what we ask for it and find out the answers for ourselves. 

Therefore, in short, as we are all aware of death, we know it will come to us all. For almost of us, death brings a chill down our spine ridden with fear. However, to others it is ridden with strength and satisfaction of accomplishment, because, fortunately or unfortunately we are all condemned to death. But, no one knows when exactly the inevitable will approach, but we all know it is inescapable. What make death seem more realistic to us, and those in denial of it is the lucid pictures of people suffering, in pain and those on their death bed before many of us can be rationale and accept the truth. 

I was lucky enough to be given a chance of taking Death and religion Class, because through this class, I simply got formation of how we live life for the time we are here on earth. Every single of us should live life to its fullest, and to its fullest means that we shall consider accomplishing our duties as parents, children, family, friends, or youths. Our lives may seem like a circus which is contains with so much to juggle. Nevertheless, we have had to remember, not to forget that life has essentially been a gift. We all make mistakes and this should not be regrettable, rather educational. Living life allows us all to learn and learning is the greatest satisfaction. 

Last but not least, I want to tell the truth that, I've been thinking about death a lot lately, and I am not sure why. But, I guess maybe because I watched a couple of movies and documentary which all about death, and read books about life and death, so my mind is been turning back towards the past, that I have experiences of seeing people dying in front of me, specially got killed in a very horrible way. I would not say that I've felt depressed, but my thoughts have lingered more on the process of dying than they usually do. 

I felt so sad and I was almost crying after reading this book, because the more I read it, I imagine he as one of my family. I have had people I've known and loved in my life pass away before their time and it was painful. It was very difficult seeing them go. Peaceful certainly isn't the right word for their passing, but it was almost a relief to see them go in the end, their agony relieved. We had a chance to say goodbye, something a lot of people dont have; for many people death comes suddenly and everything that they wanted to say or do is suddenly out of reach. 

From the experience of Ivan Ilyich, I also got a really good quote that can lead my life (also for all of us) that The more we became successful, the more unhappy we are. This simply tells us to not be so selfish and materialistic. Try to apply the simplicity in our live.